Trauma Bonding

TRAUMA BONDING I work with a lot of people who have or are experiencing trauma bonding, and yet many people have never heard of this phenomenon before.  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines bonding as: the formation of a close relationship (as between a mother and child or between a person and an animal) especially through frequent […]

What’s the Deal with Dreams?

What’s the Deal with Dreams? I have long been fascinated by dreams.  I still remember a recurring dream I had that commenced around the age of three that incited YEARS of my own dream analysis.   My partner is so accustomed to hearing me state “I had the strangest dream last night…”, that the absence […]

ANXIETY: Turning towards pain

ANXIETY: Turning towards pain What if the next time you felt anxious, you chose to accept it?  We give a whole lot of energy towards the things we fear.  Research shows that anxiety decreases the more one accepts and increases the less one accepts it.  Sound difficult to “accept” something that causes you distress? Try […]

Emotional Labour

Emotional Labour Many of the couples that I work with experience what is known as an emotional labour imbalance in their relationship. An emotional labour imbalance occurs when one individual is performing more work (emotional strain) than the other.  While there is always a fluctuation of effort, power, finances, and facets of wellness (mental, emotional, […]

The Space Between Stories: Transitioning into a New Phase

The Space Between Stories: Transitioning into a New Phase In the story of our lives, we all have some chapters we’d prefer to skip over. The loss of a loved one, the end of relationship, getting terminated from a job, financial hardship, health limitations, and so forth – these things can all have us wishing […]

BLACK SHEEP

BLACK SHEEP The “black sheep” is a common idiom used to describe someone who is considered disreputable or a disgrace in any group (such as communities, schools workplaces, or religious organizations), however, most people relate the term to describe the “odd one out”, within a family dynamic.  A paramount feature of the Black Sheep phenomena […]

Intention Without Expectation

Intention Without Expectation Counsellors and other health practitioners are often touting the importance of “living mindfully”.  Mindfulness practices can be described as many things (e.g: being present, noticing without judgment, labeling emotions, meditating, body scans – the list goes on), so it can feel intimidating to know where to, or what to, prioritize. Rather than […]

Sawubona

Sawubona Sawubona is a Zulu greeting that translates to “I see you, you are important to me and I value you”.  While us Westerners are accustomed to a greeting of “How you doing?” or “How’s it going?” with the usual perfunctory response of “Fine, how are you?”, Sawubona conveys acceptance at where the other person […]

Receiving as an Act of Love

Receiving as an Act of Love Are you one of those super self-reliant people who has no problem giving to others, but the thought of ever asking for help or RECEIVING from others causes you great distress?  There are many “selfless givers” who feel they are being good friends, partners, or family members by giving […]

Adult Attachment

Adult Attachment Many people experience failed relationships.  Some people feel as though they experience the same relationship over and over, but with different partners (“why am I a magnet for [a certain type of] partner?!”).  Some people get totally jazzed about a new relationship and then have an overwhelming desire to flee.  Another may seek […]