Monkey Business
Monkey Business Mind monkey or monkey mind, from Chinese xinyuan and Sino-Japanese shin’en 心猿 [lit. “heart-/mind-monkey”], is a Buddhist term meaning “unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable”. The Buddha referred to the mental state as “kapicitta”. We all have a monkey mind that causes us to ruminate on fears and stressors. They sound like; “my boss […]
The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict
The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict Do you avoid conflict like the plague? Many people fear conflict because they believe it will lead to loss of connection, intimacy, or trust. Interestingly, the avoidance of conflict often manifests those very fears. “Good conflict” fosters intimacy. Good conflict is how two or more people coexist in a healthy […]
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) Unlike abuse and maltreatment which are adverse actions taken by a parent/caregiver towards a child, childhood emotional neglect (CEN) is mostly a parent/caregiver’s failure to act. Many people like myself who experienced CEN were well provided for in necessities (and in my case, even luxuries). ECN can certainly be intentional; however, […]
Hygge
Hygge Pronouced Hoo-gha, Hygge is a Danish term that means a quality of coziness and the feeling of contentment that comes from warm spaces and enjoying the good things in life with those you care about. Hygge is a means of enhancing our well-being. It is about atmosphere and experience. It is a felt sense […]
The Benefits of Crying
The Benefits of Crying Are you comfortable with crying? Countless people are not. In my role as a therapist, I hear people daily apologize for their tears (and for the record: tears are always welcome with me). Adults are quick to shut down the crying of children byway of distraction (“look, here’s a toy!”), minimization/invalidation […]
Dialectics
Dialectics Dialectics Defined: Webster: “a discussion and reasoning by dialogue as a method of investigation” Collins: “a method of reasoning and reaching conclusions by considering theories and ideas together with one that contradict them” Dialectic thinking is a synthesis of two or more seemingly opposite experiences that allows space for black and white thinking and […]
Sleep Hygiene
Sleep Hygiene Have you ever heard someone diminish the importance of sleep with a quip such as “I’ll sleep when I am dead”? While the occasional night without optimal sleep is going to happen, chronic inadequate sleep poses real health concerns. Sleep in incredibly important to our overall health. Just like our cell phones need […]
Seven Types of Rest
Seven Types of Rest to Consider When You are Feeling Depleted PHYSICAL. Allows the body to relax, repair, restore. Try adding an extra 30 minutes of sleep when you are feeling depleted. MENTAL. Helps alleviate ‘brain fog’; restores concentration; reduces cynicism, irritation, apathy. Taking even a 5-minute (device-free!) break can help restore concentration. Go for […]
Accepting Praise
Accepting Praise How you see people is actually how you see yourself. What you think people think of you is actually what you think of yourself. Ever notice how you can do hard things like change your habits, learn new skills, and accomplish anything you put your mind to, and y-e-t…accepting praise from others can […]
Strategies for Managing Flashbacks
Strategies for Managing Flashbacks ~Tell yourself “I am having a flashback” ~Center yourself: Centering focuses on your internal being “I am here”. Putting your hand on your chest can help with this as it releases oxytocin and decreases cortisol levels. This is simple, yet very impactful. ~Ground yourself: Grounding focuses on your external being “I […]
