What is Secondary Wounding? Secondary wounding occurs when people who have experienced trauma are met with unsupportive responses to their pain. It is not surprising that not everyone can provide empathic responses to another’s pain story. However, it is the friends, family members, and those in the ‘helping’ profession (counsellors, police officers, social workers, clergy, […]

Physical Impacts of Trauma and How to Foster Resolution BRAIN ARCHITECTURE: Shrinkage in the prefrontal cortex, corpus callosum, and hippocampus, as well as enlarged amygdala (causing increased reactivity). ADDRESS HEALING by fostering safe, stable, and nurturing relationships ~ safe relationships override stress hormones by increasing the level of oxytocin, a hormone that inhibits the amygdala […]

Monkey Business Mind monkey or monkey mind, from Chinese xinyuan and Sino-Japanese shin’en 心猿 [lit. “heart-/mind-monkey”], is a Buddhist term meaning “unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable”. The Buddha referred to the mental state as “kapicitta”. We all have a monkey mind that causes us to ruminate on fears and stressors. They sound like; “my boss […]

The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict Do you avoid conflict like the plague? Many people fear conflict because they believe it will lead to loss of connection, intimacy, or trust. Interestingly, the avoidance of conflict often manifests those very fears. “Good conflict” fosters intimacy. Good conflict is how two or more people coexist in a healthy […]

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) Unlike abuse and maltreatment which are adverse actions taken by a parent/caregiver towards a child, childhood emotional neglect (CEN) is mostly a parent/caregiver’s failure to act. Many people like myself who experienced CEN were well provided for in necessities (and in my case, even luxuries). ECN can certainly be intentional; however, […]

Hygge Pronouced Hoo-gha, Hygge is a Danish term that means a quality of coziness and the feeling of contentment that comes from warm spaces and enjoying the good things in life with those you care about.  Hygge is a means of enhancing our well-being. It is about atmosphere and experience. It is a felt sense […]

The Benefits of Crying Are you comfortable with crying? Countless people are not. In my role as a therapist, I hear people daily apologize for their tears (and for the record: tears are always welcome with me). Adults are quick to shut down the crying of children byway of distraction (“look, here’s a toy!”), minimization/invalidation […]

Dialectics Dialectics Defined: Webster: “a discussion and reasoning by dialogue as a method of investigation” Collins: “a method of reasoning and reaching conclusions by considering theories and ideas together with one that contradict them” Dialectic thinking is a synthesis of two or more seemingly opposite experiences that allows space for black and white thinking and […]

Sleep Hygiene Have you ever heard someone diminish the importance of sleep with a quip such as “I’ll sleep when I am dead”? While the occasional night without optimal sleep is going to happen, chronic inadequate sleep poses real health concerns. Sleep in incredibly important to our overall health. Just like our cell phones need […]

Seven Types of Rest to Consider When You are Feeling Depleted PHYSICAL. Allows the body to relax, repair, restore. Try adding an extra 30 minutes of sleep when you are feeling depleted. MENTAL. Helps alleviate ‘brain fog’; restores concentration; reduces cynicism, irritation, apathy. Taking even a 5-minute (device-free!) break can help restore concentration. Go for […]