The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict

The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict Do you avoid conflict like the plague? Many people fear conflict because they believe it will lead to loss of connection, intimacy, or trust. Interestingly, the avoidance of conflict often manifests those very fears. “Good conflict” fosters intimacy. Good conflict is how two or more people coexist in a healthy […]

Life Skills to Learn Before High School Graduation

Life Skills to Learn Before High School Graduation In this time of COVID, parents are feeling the pressure to ensure their kids are engaging in their schoolwork. I think family togetherness time can offer a great opportunity to learn needed LIFE SKILLS… know: the stuff that is actually relevant for young people to know when […]

Trauma Bonding

TRAUMA BONDING I work with a lot of people who have or are experiencing trauma bonding, and yet many people have never heard of this phenomenon before.  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines bonding as: the formation of a close relationship (as between a mother and child or between a person and an animal) especially through frequent […]

Emotional Labour

Emotional Labour Many of the couples that I work with experience what is known as an emotional labour imbalance in their relationship. An emotional labour imbalance occurs when one individual is performing more work (emotional strain) than the other.  While there is always a fluctuation of effort, power, finances, and facets of wellness (mental, emotional, […]


BLACK SHEEP The “black sheep” is a common idiom used to describe someone who is considered disreputable or a disgrace in any group (such as communities, schools workplaces, or religious organizations), however, most people relate the term to describe the “odd one out”, within a family dynamic.  A paramount feature of the Black Sheep phenomena […]

Adult Attachment

Adult Attachment Many people experience failed relationships.  Some people feel as though they experience the same relationship over and over, but with different partners (“why am I a magnet for [a certain type of] partner?!”).  Some people get totally jazzed about a new relationship and then have an overwhelming desire to flee.  Another may seek […]

The Golden Years?

The “Golden” Years? In collectivist* societies around the world, older people (“elders”) are most often considered people of authority and esteemed for the wisdom they have cultivated during their years of lived experience.  Traditional cultural norms in collectivist societies were that senior members were frequently cared for in their offspring’s familial home.  Many collectivist societies […]

Vigorous Stir

Vigorous Stir What the heck is a “vigorous stir”, you ask?  A “vigorous stir” has become an inside joke between me and my partner.  When we first got together, I was incredulous about the amount of vigor in which he stirred his coffee (for a person that can be so quiet in the morning, his […]

Affairs in the Digital Age: Death by a Thousand Cuts*

Affairs in the Digital Age: Death by a Thousand Cuts* Let’s face it:  affairs have always been hurtful to the one who has been cheated on.  Interestingly, relationship expert Esther Perel suggests that they are even more so now.  Why? Because where once the cheated upon partner might have only had “lipstick on the collar”, […]


Gaslighting The term gaslighting* refers to an emotional abuse tactic that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, putting the abuser in a position of power. A clear indicator of a gaslighter is one who overrides your truth and tries to convince you that your perception of reality is false.  A […]