What is secondary wounding?

What is Secondary Wounding? Secondary wounding occurs when people who have experienced trauma are met with unsupportive responses to their pain. It is not surprising that not everyone can provide empathic responses to another’s pain story. However, it is the friends, family members, and those in the ‘helping’ profession (counsellors, police officers, social workers, clergy, […]

Physical Impacts of Trauma and How to Foster Resolution

Physical Impacts of Trauma and How to Foster Resolution BRAIN ARCHITECTURE: Shrinkage in the prefrontal cortex, corpus callosum, and hippocampus, as well as enlarged amygdala (causing increased reactivity). ADDRESS HEALING by fostering safe, stable, and nurturing relationships ~ safe relationships override stress hormones by increasing the level of oxytocin, a hormone that inhibits the amygdala […]

Monkey Business

Monkey Business Mind monkey or monkey mind, from Chinese xinyuan and Sino-Japanese shin’en 心猿 [lit. “heart-/mind-monkey”], is a Buddhist term meaning “unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable”. The Buddha referred to the mental state as “kapicitta”. We all have a monkey mind that causes us to ruminate on fears and stressors. They sound like; “my boss […]

The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict

The 3 R’s: Redefining Conflict Do you avoid conflict like the plague? Many people fear conflict because they believe it will lead to loss of connection, intimacy, or trust. Interestingly, the avoidance of conflict often manifests those very fears. “Good conflict” fosters intimacy. Good conflict is how two or more people coexist in a healthy […]

The Benefits of Crying

The Benefits of Crying Are you comfortable with crying? Countless people are not. In my role as a therapist, I hear people daily apologize for their tears (and for the record: tears are always welcome with me). Adults are quick to shut down the crying of children byway of distraction (“look, here’s a toy!”), minimization/invalidation […]

Sleep Hygiene

Sleep Hygiene Have you ever heard someone diminish the importance of sleep with a quip such as “I’ll sleep when I am dead”? While the occasional night without optimal sleep is going to happen, chronic inadequate sleep poses real health concerns. Sleep in incredibly important to our overall health. Just like our cell phones need […]

Seven Types of Rest

Seven Types of Rest to Consider When You are Feeling Depleted PHYSICAL. Allows the body to relax, repair, restore. Try adding an extra 30 minutes of sleep when you are feeling depleted. MENTAL. Helps alleviate ‘brain fog’; restores concentration; reduces cynicism, irritation, apathy. Taking even a 5-minute (device-free!) break can help restore concentration. Go for […]

Accepting Praise

Accepting Praise How you see people is actually how you see yourself. What you think people think of you is actually what you think of yourself. Ever notice how you can do hard things like change your habits, learn new skills, and accomplish anything you put your mind to, and y-e-t…accepting praise from others can […]

Strategies for Managing Flashbacks

Strategies for Managing Flashbacks ~Tell yourself “I am having a flashback” ~Center yourself: Centering focuses on your internal being “I am here”. Putting your hand on your chest can help with this as it releases oxytocin and decreases cortisol levels.  This is simple, yet very impactful.  ~Ground yourself: Grounding focuses on your external being “I […]

Trauma: You can’t *think* your way out of it

Trauma: You can’t *think* your way out of it Our conscious mind processes 40 things in a single second, whereas our unconscious mind is processing 20,000 things in a single second (that is a whooping 500,000 times faster). Our unconscious mind is assessing for threat based on past lived experience, even when we do not […]